Limit proxy's memory from TiFlash's side (#408)

[ti-chi-bot]

This is an automated cherry-pick of #408

What is changed and how it works?

Issue Number: Close tiflash#9745

What's Changed:

Related changes

• PR to update pingcap/docs/pingcap/docs-cn:
• Need to cherry-pick to the release branch

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No code

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
• Performance regression: Consumes more Memory
• Breaking backward compatibility

Release note

Fix an issue that TiFlash may unexpectedly reject raft message when memory usage is not high

[CalvinNeo]

lgtm

[ti-chi-bot]

[LGTM Timeline notifier]

Timeline:

• 2025-01-07 05:09:32.255164339 +0000 UTC m=+243915.543996043: ☑️ agreed by CalvinNeo.

[CalvinNeo]

/cc @yudongusa

[ti-chi-bot]

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[yudongusa]

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[ti-chi-bot]

[APPROVALNOTIFIER] This PR is APPROVED

This pull-request has been approved by: CalvinNeo, JaySon-Huang, yudongusa

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Needs approval from an approver in each of these files:

• HACKED_OWNERS [CalvinNeo,JaySon-Huang]
• proxy_components/proxy_server/src/HACKED_OWNERS [yudongusa]

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