Mr. Lang's Poems of the Past

1. Bank on Failure.
2. Make it dumerer.
3. Never pet another man's carrot.
4. Always leave early to make up for coming in late.
5. If I'm not worried about it you shouldn't worry about it.
6. Most monkeys are bears.
7. Never do things the right way. Do them the wrong way, then they are easier.
8. If you're just hiding your ignorance, then do it.
9. Stop thinking.
10. Don't coddle the horrible at the expense of the valuable.
11. There's milliseconds, and then, there's like, seconds.
12. Hey!
13. Smart people are dumb.
14. Don't make me spoon you!
15. You ever stuffed a sloth's ass full of tea leaves?
16. Every day I care less and less.
17. You can't lose if you don't run.
18. I want my nub back.
19. I hate everyone. I hate people.
20. My lack of feedback is a positive sign.
21. All Andrews have really good one-liners.
22. Never puke into a wicker trash can.
23. There is nothing wrong with extortion.
24. This is what I do here. I sit there and let you take a picture of me.
25. Nobody's sick of Lang. You can't get sick of Lang.
26. If all those upvotes make you feel good, I got something that'll make you feel real good.
27. Nothing ever makes me happy.
28. You guys are different than me. If things are in bold, I don't read it.
29. If you keep kicking the can, it just gets more dented.
30. I ain't no one's mommy.
31. I'm like a cat. I like to bathe in the sun.
32. Don't thank him. It makes you look weak. Never thank someone else.
33. I actually find shit to be quite warm.
34. If you're going to say something PC, then I don't wanna hear it.
35. I don't do any work until somebody asks for it twice.
36. Anytime I know something and someone else doesn't, I feel the need to shame them.
37. I make other people feel bad about themselves because it makes me feel better about myself.
38. Unfortunately, the only one who has done something amazing on this team is me.
39. Don't be angry because I'm better than you.
40. I don’t care if we’re heading to New Mexico or Seattle, I need to at least know I am heading west, then someone can tell me when I need to go North or South.