diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/makefile b/dotcom-rendering/makefile
index 864b90c20b5..fc9dbaeb6f0 100644
--- a/dotcom-rendering/makefile
+++ b/dotcom-rendering/makefile
@@ -8,11 +8,11 @@ export SHELL := /usr/bin/env bash
 # messaging #########################################
 
 define log
-    @node scripts/env/log $(1)
+    @node ../scripts/log $(1)
 endef
 
 define warn
-    @node scripts/env/log $(1) warn
+    @node ../scripts/log $(1) warn
 endef
 
 # deployment #########################################
@@ -134,9 +134,11 @@ lint: clean-dist install
 	$(call log, "checking for lint errors")
 	@yarn lint
 
-lint-project:
+lint-project: check-env
 	$(call log, "linting project")
-	@node ../scripts/check-node-versions.mjs
+	@node scripts/check-node-versions.mjs
+	@node scripts/env/check-deps.js
+	@node scripts/env/check-files.js
 
 stylelint: clean-dist install
 	$(call log, "checking for style lint errors")
@@ -181,10 +183,8 @@ validate-build: # private
 
 check-env: # private
 	$(call log, "checking environment")
-	@node scripts/env/check-node.js
-	@node scripts/env/check-yarn.js
-	@node scripts/env/check-deps.js
-	@node scripts/env/check-files.js
+	@cd .. && scripts/env/check-node
+	@cd .. && scripts/env/check-yarn
 
 clear: # private
 	@clear
diff --git a/scripts/check-node-versions.mjs b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/check-node-versions.mjs
similarity index 86%
rename from scripts/check-node-versions.mjs
rename to dotcom-rendering/scripts/check-node-versions.mjs
index c02a1f8c471..a903dd3e8a2 100644
--- a/scripts/check-node-versions.mjs
+++ b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/check-node-versions.mjs
@@ -3,13 +3,13 @@
 import { readFile } from 'node:fs/promises';
 import { dirname, resolve } from 'node:path';
 import { fileURLToPath } from 'node:url';
-import { log, warn } from '../dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/log.js';
+import { log, warn } from '../../scripts/log.js';
 
 const __dirname = dirname(fileURLToPath(import.meta.url));
 
 process.chdir(resolve(__dirname, '..'));
 
-const nvmrc = (await readFile('.nvmrc', 'utf-8'))
+const nvmrc = (await readFile('../.nvmrc', 'utf-8'))
 	// We don’t care about leading or trailing whitespace
 	.trim();
 
@@ -30,15 +30,15 @@ if (!nodeVersion) {
 const requiredNodeVersionMatches =
 	/** @type {const} @satisfies {ReadonlyArray<{filepath: string, pattern: RegExp}>}*/ ([
 		{
-			filepath: 'dotcom-rendering/Containerfile',
+			filepath: 'Containerfile',
 			pattern: /^FROM node:(.+)-alpine$/m,
 		},
 		{
-			filepath: 'dotcom-rendering/scripts/deploy/riff-raff.yaml',
+			filepath: 'scripts/deploy/riff-raff.yaml',
 			pattern: /^ +Recipe: dotcom-rendering.*-node-(\d+\.\d+\.\d+)$/m,
 		},
 		{
-			filepath: 'apps-rendering/riff-raff.yaml',
+			filepath: '../apps-rendering/riff-raff.yaml',
 			pattern: /^ +Recipe: .+-mobile-node(\d+\.\d+\.\d+).*$/m,
 		},
 	]);
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/deploy/build-riffraff-bundle.mjs b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/deploy/build-riffraff-bundle.mjs
index 8747cd80279..3d723a19405 100755
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/deploy/build-riffraff-bundle.mjs
+++ b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/deploy/build-riffraff-bundle.mjs
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ import path from 'node:path';
 import * as url from 'node:url';
 import cpy from 'cpy';
 import execa from 'execa';
-import { log, warn } from '../env/log.js';
+import { log, warn } from '../../../scripts/log.js';
 
 const dirname = url.fileURLToPath(new URL('.', import.meta.url));
 const target = path.resolve(dirname, '../..', 'target');
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-deps.js b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-deps.js
index 33534bfcb6a..ab26c2ea76f 100644
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-deps.js
+++ b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-deps.js
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 const fs = require('node:fs');
 const lockfile = require('@yarnpkg/lockfile');
+const { warn, log } = require('../../../scripts/log');
 const pkg = require('../../package.json');
-const { warn, log } = require('./log');
 
 if (pkg.devDependencies) {
 	warn('Don’t use devDependencies');
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-files.js b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-files.js
index 8e349f43c6c..10bb69d7ce5 100644
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-files.js
+++ b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-files.js
@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 const execa = require('execa');
-const { warn } = require('./log');
+const { warn } = require('../../../scripts/log');
 
 execa('find', ['src', '-type', 'f', '-name', '*index*.ts*'])
 	.then(({ stdout }) => {
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-node.js b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-node.js
deleted file mode 100644
index 8f22fde6698..00000000000
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-node.js
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,46 +0,0 @@
-// eslint-disable-next-line @typescript-eslint/unbound-method
-const { join } = require('node:path');
-const { promisify } = require('node:util');
-const readFile = promisify(require('node:fs').readFile);
-const ensure = require('./ensure');
-
-// eslint-disable-next-line @typescript-eslint/no-floating-promises
-(async () => {
-	try {
-		const [semver] = await ensure('semver');
-
-		const nodeVersion = /^v(\d+\.\d+\.\d+)/.exec(process.version)[1];
-		const nvmrcVersion = (
-			await readFile(join(__dirname, '..', '..', '..', '.nvmrc'), 'utf8')
-		).trim();
-
-		if (!semver.satisfies(nodeVersion, nvmrcVersion)) {
-			const { warn, prompt, log } = require('./log');
-			warn(
-				`dotcom-rendering requires Node v${nvmrcVersion}`,
-				`You are using v${nodeVersion ?? '(unknown)'}`,
-			);
-			if (process.env.NVM_DIR) {
-				prompt('Run `nvm install` from the repo root and try again.');
-				log(
-					'See also: https://gist.github.com/sndrs/5940e9e8a3f506b287233ed65365befb',
-				);
-			} else if (process.env.FNM_DIR) {
-				prompt(
-					'It looks like you have fnm installed',
-					'Run `fnm use` from the repo root and try again.',
-				);
-			} else {
-				prompt(
-					`Using a Node version manager can make things easier.`,
-					`Our recommendation is fnm: https://github.com/Schniz/fnm`,
-				);
-			}
-			process.exit(1);
-		}
-	} catch (e) {
-		// eslint-disable-next-line no-console
-		console.log(e);
-		process.exit(1);
-	}
-})();
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-yarn.js b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-yarn.js
deleted file mode 100644
index 6b0ec02cb58..00000000000
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/check-yarn.js
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,32 +0,0 @@
-const { promisify } = require('node:util');
-const exec = promisify(require('node:child_process').execFile);
-const ensure = require('./ensure');
-
-// Yarn v1.x support .yarnrc, so we can use a local (check-in) copy of yarn
-const YARN_MIN_VERSION = '1.x';
-
-// eslint-disable-next-line @typescript-eslint/no-floating-promises
-(async () => {
-	try {
-		// This will fail if yarn isn't installed, and force into the catch,
-		// where we install yarn with NPM (mainly for CI)
-		const { stdout: version } = await exec('yarn', ['--version']);
-
-		const [semver] = await ensure('semver');
-
-		if (!semver.satisfies(version, YARN_MIN_VERSION)) {
-			const { warn, prompt, log } = require('./log');
-			warn(
-				`dotcom-rendering requires Yarn >=${YARN_MIN_VERSION}`,
-				`You are using v${version}`,
-			);
-			prompt('Please upgrade yarn');
-			log('https://classic.yarnpkg.com/en/docs/install');
-
-			process.exit(1);
-		}
-	} catch (e) {
-		require('./log').log(`Installing yarn`);
-		await exec('npm', ['i', '-g', `yarn@${YARN_MIN_VERSION}`]);
-	}
-})();
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/ensure.js b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/ensure.js
deleted file mode 100644
index 9273ab01974..00000000000
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/ensure.js
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,37 +0,0 @@
-// provides a way to use packages in scripts when we don't know
-// if they've been installed yet (with yarn) by temporarily
-// installing with npm if node cannot resolve the package
-
-const { log } = require('./log');
-
-module.exports = (...packages) =>
-	new Promise((resolve) => {
-		try {
-			resolve(packages.map(require));
-		} catch (e) {
-			log(`Pre-installing dependency (${packages.join(', ')})...`);
-			const npmInstallProcess = require('node:child_process')
-				.spawn('npm', [
-					'i',
-					...packages,
-					'--no-save',
-					'--legacy-peer-deps',
-					'--package-lock=false',
-				])
-				.on('close', (code) => {
-					if (code !== 0) {
-						process.exit(code);
-					}
-					try {
-						resolve(packages.map(require));
-					} catch (e2) {
-						// eslint-disable-next-line no-console
-						console.log(e2);
-						process.exit(1);
-					}
-				})
-				.stderr.on('data', (data) =>
-					console.error(Buffer.from(data).toString()),
-				);
-		}
-	});
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/gen-stories/get-stories.mjs b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/gen-stories/get-stories.mjs
index 260969ce1d1..829ab2a634f 100644
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/gen-stories/get-stories.mjs
+++ b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/gen-stories/get-stories.mjs
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 import { mkdirSync, readFileSync, writeFileSync } from 'node:fs';
 import { dirname, resolve } from 'node:path';
 import { fileURLToPath } from 'node:url';
-import { log, success, warn } from '../env/log.js';
+import { log, success, warn } from '../../../scripts/log.js';
 
 const STORIES_PATH = resolve(
 	dirname(fileURLToPath(new URL(import.meta.url))),
@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@ ${storyVariableName}.args = { config: ${JSON.stringify(config)} };
 ${storyVariableName}.decorators = [lightDecorator({
 	display: ArticleDisplay.${displayName},
 	design: ArticleDesign.${designName},
-	theme: {...ArticleSpecial, ...Pillar}.${theme.replace("Pillar", "")},
+	theme: {...ArticleSpecial, ...Pillar}.${theme.replace('Pillar', '')},
 })];
 `;
 };
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/perf/perf-test.js b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/perf/perf-test.js
index d28120a0e49..f595b25de42 100644
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/perf/perf-test.js
+++ b/dotcom-rendering/scripts/perf/perf-test.js
@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 const execa = require('execa');
-const { warn, log } = require('../env/log');
+const { warn, log } = require('../../../scripts/log');
 
 const run = async () => {
 	try {
diff --git a/scripts/env/check-node b/scripts/env/check-node
new file mode 100755
index 00000000000..c650fb4e112
--- /dev/null
+++ b/scripts/env/check-node
@@ -0,0 +1,86 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env bash
+
+# Check whether the current node version matches the .nvmrc version, and offer some help if not.
+
+in_terminal() { test -t 1; }
+
+strip_colors() {
+    local text="$1"
+    echo "$text" | sed -e $'s/\x1b\[[0-9;]*m//g'
+}
+
+log_with_color() {
+    local text="$1"
+
+    # Check if output is a terminal and supports color
+    if in_terminal && [[ $(tput colors) -ge 8 ]]; then
+        # Terminal supports color, print the text as it is
+        echo -e "$text"
+    else
+        # Terminal does not support color, strip color codes and print
+        echo "$(strip_colors "$text")"
+    fi
+}
+
+blue='\033[0;34m'
+red='\033[0;31m'
+dim='\033[2m'
+bold='\033[1m'
+reset='\033[0m'
+
+# get the node version from .nvmrc
+nvmrc_contents=$(cat .nvmrc)
+
+# check that it's a valid version (matches x.y.z)
+nvmrc_version_pattern="^[0-9]+\.[0-9]+\.[0-9]+$"
+if [[ $nvmrc_contents =~ $nvmrc_version_pattern ]]; then
+	nvmrc_version=${BASH_REMATCH[0]}
+else
+	log_with_color "${red}The Node version in .nvmrc is invalid${reset}"
+	log_with_color "${dim}It should match the pattern 'x.y.z'.${reset}"
+	# exit with failure
+    exit 1
+fi
+
+# Now we can check if the current version of Node matches the .nvmrc version
+
+# is _any_ node available?
+if [[ -x "$(command -v node)" ]]; then
+	node_version=$(node -v)
+	node_version=${node_version:1} # remove the "v" in "v1.2.3"
+fi
+
+# check the version we're using
+# note that `node_version` will be empty if node wan't available above
+if [ "$node_version" == "$nvmrc_version" ]; then
+	# we're using the correct version of node
+	log_with_color "${dim}Using Node ${blue}$node_version${reset}"
+
+	# we're done, exit with success
+	exit 0
+fi
+
+# If we got here, we're using the wrong version of node, or There Is No Node.
+# Try to help people load the correct version:
+if in_terminal; then
+	log_with_color "${red}This project requires Node v$nvmrc_version${reset}"
+	if [[ -x "$(command -v fnm)" ]]; then
+		log_with_color "${dim}Run ${blue}fnm use${reset}${dim} to switch to the correct version.${reset}"
+		log_with_color "${dim}See ${blue}${dim}https://github.com/Schniz/fnm#shell-setup${reset}${dim} to automate this.${reset}"
+	elif [[ -x "$(command -v asdf)" ]]; then
+		log_with_color "${dim}Run ${blue}asdf install${reset}${dim} to switch to the correct version.${reset}"
+	elif [[ -x "$(which nvm)" ]]; then
+		log_with_color "${dim}Run ${blue}nvm install${reset}${dim} to switch to the correct version.${reset}"
+	else
+		log_with_color "${dim}Consider using ${bold}fnm${reset}${dim} to manage Node versions:${reset} ${blue}https://github.com/Schniz/fnm#installation${reset}${dim}.${reset}"
+	fi
+else
+	# not in a terminal, so v possible we're running a husky script in a git gui
+	echo "Could not find Node v$nvmrc_version."
+	echo "You may need to load your Node version manager in a ~/.huskyrc file."
+	echo "See https://typicode.github.io/husky/troubleshooting.html#command-not-found."
+fi
+
+# exit with failure
+exit 1
+
diff --git a/scripts/env/check-yarn b/scripts/env/check-yarn
new file mode 100755
index 00000000000..800d9b9d1a3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/scripts/env/check-yarn
@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env node
+
+/**
+ * Check that yarn is available. If not, ask the user to run `corepack enable`
+ * which will provide it.
+ *
+ * Note that any yarn@>1 will do, since it will defer to
+ * the copy in that lives in .yarn/releases (which is the version we want to
+ * use).
+ */
+
+// no external deps can be used here, because this runs before deps are installed
+const { execSync } = require('child_process');
+const { stdout } = require('process');
+const { colourise, log, warn } = require('../log');
+
+// we can't use chalk, because this runs before deps are installed
+// https://gist.github.com/fnky/458719343aabd01cfb17a3a4f7296797
+const reset = '\x1b[0m';
+const blue = '\x1b[34m';
+
+try {
+	const yarnVersion = execSync('yarn -v', { encoding: 'utf-8' });
+	log(`Using yarn ${colourise(reset, colourise(blue, yarnVersion.trim()))}`);
+} catch (e) {
+	warn(`Could not find yarn. Please run 'corepack enable'.`);
+	process.exit(1);
+}
diff --git a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/log.js b/scripts/log.js
similarity index 77%
rename from dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/log.js
rename to scripts/log.js
index 02ff6f44bb4..058dbe97577 100644
--- a/dotcom-rendering/scripts/env/log.js
+++ b/scripts/log.js
@@ -5,14 +5,18 @@ const capitalize = (str) =>
 
 // we could use chalk, but this saves needing to pre-install it
 // if this is a first run
+// https://gist.github.com/fnky/458719343aabd01cfb17a3a4f7296797
 const red = '\x1b[31m';
 const yellow = '\x1b[33m';
-const green = '\u001b[32m';
+const green = '\x1b[32m';
 const dim = '\x1b[2m';
 const reset = '\x1b[0m';
 
+const colourise = (colour, str) =>
+	process.stdout.isTTY ? `${colour}${str}${reset}` : str;
+
 const logIt = (messages = [], color = dim) => {
-	console.log(`${color}%s${reset}`, capitalize(messages.join('\n')));
+	console.log(colourise(color, capitalize(messages.join('\n'))));
 };
 
 const log = (...messages) => logIt(messages);
@@ -42,4 +46,5 @@ module.exports = {
 	warn,
 	prompt,
 	success,
+	colourise,
 };