curse.ps

/usr/bin/true pop pop pop % ; exec gsnd -q -dRandomSeed=${RANDOM-$(date +%s)} -- "$0" "$@"
%!PS
% Run with GhostScript: `gsnd -q -- curse.ps 5` or
% `gsnd -q -dNumCurses=5 -dRandomSeed=$((RANDOM)) -- curse.ps`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
% Shakespearian Curse Generator -- Based on lists compiled by Jerry Maguire, %
%     English teacher at Center Grove High School in Greenwood, Indiana.     %
% Public domain implementations by Trevor Stone http://trevorstone.org/curse %
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

% one-word adjectives
/adjective1 [ (artless) (bawdy) (beslubbering) (bootless) (brazen) (churlish)
  (cockered) (clouted) (craven) (currish) (dankish) (dissembling) (distempered)
  (droning) (errant) (fawning) (fitful) (fobbing) (froward) (frothy) (gleeking)
  (gnarling) (goatish) (gorbellied) (greasy) (grizzled) (haughty) (hideous)
  (impertinent) (infectious) (jaded) (jarring) (knavish) (lewd) (loggerheaded)
  (lumpish) (mammering) (mangled) (mewling) (paunchy) (peevish) (pernicious)
  (prating) (pribbling) (puking) (puny) (purpled) (quailing) (queasy) (rank)
  (reeky) (roguish) (roynish) (ruttish) (saucy) (sottish) (spleeny) (spongy)
  (surly) (tottering) (unmuzzled) (vacant) (vain) (venomed) (villainous)
  (waggish) (wanton) (warped) (wayward) (weedy) (wenching) (whoreson) (yeasty)
] def

% hyphenated adjectives
/adjective2 [ (base-court) (bat-fowling) (beef-witted) (beetle-headed)
  (boil-brained) (bunched-backed) (clapper-clawed) (clay-brained)
  (common-kissing) (crook-pated) (dismal-dreaming) (dizzy-eyed) (dog-hearted)
  (dread-bolted) (earth-vexing) (elf-skinned) (empty-hearted) (evil-eyed)
  (eye-offending) (fat-kidneyed) (fen-sucked) (flap-mouthed) (fly-bitten)
  (folly-fallen) (fool-born) (full-gorged) (guts-griping) (half-faced)
  (hasty-witted) (heavy-handed) (hedge-born) (hell-hated) (horn-mad)
  (idle-headed) (ill-breeding) (ill-composed) (ill-nurtured) (iron-witted)
  (knotty-pated) (lean-witted) (lily-livered) (mad-bread) (milk-livered)
  (motley-minded) (muddy-mettled) (onion-eyed) (pale-hearted) (paper-faced)
  (pinch-spotted) (plume-plucked) (pottle-deep) (pox-marked) (raw-boned)
  (reeling-ripe) (rough-hewn) (rude-growing) (rug-headed) (rump-fed)
  (shag-eared) (shard-borne) (sheep-biting) (shrill-gorged) (spur-galled)
  (sour-faced) (swag-bellied) (tardy-gaited) (tickle-brained) (toad-spotted)
  (unchin-snouted) (weak-hinged) (weather-bitten) (white-livered)
] def

% nouns
/noun [ (apple-john) (baggage) (barnacle) (bladder) (boar-pig) (bugbear)
  (bum-bailey) (canker-blossom) (clack-dish) (clotpole) (coxcomb) (codpiece)
  (crutch) (cutpurse) (death-token) (dewberry) (dogfish) (egg-shell)
  (flap-dragon) (flax-wench) (flirt-gill) (foot-licker) (fustilarian) (giglet)
  (gudgeon) (gull-catcher) (haggard) (harpy) (hedge-pig) (hempseed) (horn-beast)
  (hugger-mugger) (jack-a-nape) (jolthead) (lewdster) (lout) (maggot-pie)
  (malignancy) (malkin) (malt-worm) (mammet) (manikin) (measle) (minimus)
  (minnow) (miscreant) (moldwarp) (mumble-news) (nut-hook) (pantaloon)
  (pigeon-egg) (pignut) (puttock) (pumpion) (rabbit-sucker) (rampallion)
  (ratsbane) (remnant) (rudesby) (ruffian) (scantling) (scullion) (scut)
  (skainsmate) (snipe) (strumpet) (varlot) (vassal) (waterfly) (whey-face)
  (whipster) (wagtail) (younker)
] def

/join { 2 dict begin % [str1 str2 ... strn] (_sep_) -- str1_sep_str2_sep_strn
  /sep exch def
  dup /len exch length def
  0 1 index { length add } forall
  sep length len 1 sub mul add
  /slen exch def
  slen string
  0 3 2 roll
  {
    3 copy putinterval
    length add
    dup slen ne { 2 copy sep putinterval sep length add } if
  } forall pop
end } def

/randword { % arr -- arr[rand]
  dup rand exch length mod get
} def
/curse {
  [(Thou) adjective1 randword adjective2 randword noun randword] ( ) join (!) concatstrings
} def

/promptnum { % -- int
  {
    (Number of curses: ) print flush
    (%lineedit) (r) file dup bytesavailable string readstring pop
    {cvi} stopped {pop} {exit} ifelse
  } loop
} def

% If run with -dNumCurses=X or -- curse.ps X use that value,
% otherwise prompt the user
/NumCurses where { /NumCurses get } {
  /ARGUMENTS where {
    /ARGUMENTS get dup length 0 gt { 0 get cvi } { pop promptnum } ifelse
  } { promptnum } ifelse
} ifelse
% PostScript default to a fixed seed
/RandomSeed where { /RandomSeed get } { realtime } ifelse srand
% Generate curses and print 'em out
{ curse exec print (\n) print } repeat