joke.json

{
    "0.jpeg":"ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.",
    "1.jpeg":"Programmer: A machine that turns coffee into code.", 
    "2.jpeg":"Computers are fast; programmers keep it slow.", 
    "3.jpeg":"When I wrote this code, only God and I understood what I did. Now only God knows.", 
    "4.jpeg":"A son asked his father (a programmer) why the sun rises in the east, and sets in the west. His response? It works, don’t touch!" ,
    "5.jpeg":"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.", 
    "6.jpeg":"Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.", 
    "7.jpeg":"Programming can be fun, and so can cryptography; however, they should not be combined.", 
    "8.jpeg":"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.", 
    "9.jpeg":"Copy-and-Paste was programmed by programmers for programmers actually.", 
    "10.jpeg":"Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.", 
    "11.jpeg":"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.",
    "12.jpeg":"Algorithm: Word used by programmers when they don’t want to explain what they did.", 
    "13.jpeg":"Software and cathedrals are much the same — first we build them, then we pray.", 
    "14.jpeg":"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.", 
    "15.jpeg":"If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.", 
    "16.jpeg":"99 little bugs in the code. 99 little bugs in the code. Take one down, patch it around. 127 little bugs in the code …" ,
    "17.jpeg":"Remember that there is no code faster than no code.", 
    "18.jpeg":"One man’s crappy software is another man’s full-time job.", 
    "19.jpeg":"No code has zero defects.", 
    "20.jpeg":"A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.", 
    "21.jpeg":"Deleted code is debugged code.", 
    "22.jpeg":"Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.", 
    "23.jpeg":"It’s not a bug — it’s an undocumented feature.", 
    "24.jpeg":"It works on my machine.", 
    "25.jpeg":"It compiles; ship it.",

    "26.jpeg":"There are only two kinds of programming languages out there. The ones people complain about and the ones no one uses.",
    "27.jpeg":"Programming made the impossible possible. You can have a null object and a constant variable.",
    "28.jpeg":"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off.",
    "29.jpeg":"The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a nontyped language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language.",
    "30.jpeg":"C++: An octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog.",
    "31.jpeg":"When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.",
    "32.jpeg":"C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.",
    "33.jpeg":"Without C we only have Obol, Pasal, and BASI.",
    "34.jpeg":"One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.",
    "35.jpeg":"In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.",
    "36.jpeg":"Q: How different are C and C++? A: 1. Because C — C++ = 1.",
    "37.jpeg":"What’s the object-oriented way to get wealthy? Inheritance.",
    "38.jpeg":"C++: Where your friends have access to your private members.",
    "39.jpeg":"Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? Because they don’t C#.",
    "40.jpeg":"Q: What did the Java code say to the C code? A: You’ve got no class.",
    "41.jpeg":"If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.",
    "42.jpeg":"You’ll surely have fun when programming Kotlin, promised.",
    "43.jpeg":"There’s no obfuscated Perl contest because it’s pointless.",
    "44.jpeg":"Perl: The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.",
    "45.jpeg":"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.",
    "46.jpeg":"JavaScript logic: 0 == '0' and 0 == []; therefore, '0' != [].", 
    "47.jpeg":"Python: Executable pseudocode. Perl: Executable line noise.",
    "48.jpeg":"Should one learn Advanced BASIC programming language?",
    "49.jpeg":"Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders.",
    "50.jpeg":"Knock, knock … Who’s there? … *very long pause* … Java.",
    "51.jpeg":"God is real … unless declared integer.",
    "52.jpeg":"COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.",
    "53.jpeg":"A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks, ‘Can I join you?’",
    "54.jpeg":"To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.",
    "55.jpeg":"Russian roulette: [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*",
    "56.jpeg":"The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.",
    "57.jpeg":"Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, ‘Are you ill?’ The second byte replies, ‘No, just feeling a bit off.’",
    "58.jpeg":"There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who know binary and those who don’t.",
    "59.jpeg":"William Shakespeare’s question 2B OR NOT 2B = FF.", 
    "60.jpeg":"Programmer’s partner: ‘Are you going to sit and type in front of that thing all day, or are you going out with me?’ Programmer: ‘Yes.’",
    "61.jpeg":"There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation and naming things."
}