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| 1 | +from sys import exit |
| 2 | +from random import randint |
| 3 | + |
| 4 | +class Game(object): |
| 5 | + |
| 6 | + def __init__(self, start): |
| 7 | + self.quips = [ |
| 8 | + "You died. You kinda suck at this.", |
| 9 | + "Your mom would be proud. If she were smarter.", |
| 10 | + "Such a luser.", |
| 11 | + "I have a small puppy that's better at this." |
| 12 | + ] |
| 13 | + self.start = start |
| 14 | + |
| 15 | + def play(self): |
| 16 | + next = self.start |
| 17 | + |
| 18 | + while True: |
| 19 | + print "\n---------" |
| 20 | + room = getattr(self, next) |
| 21 | + mext = room() |
| 22 | + |
| 23 | + |
| 24 | + def death(self): |
| 25 | + print self.quips[randint(0, len(self.quips)-1)] |
| 26 | + exit(1) |
| 27 | + |
| 28 | + def central_corridor(self): |
| 29 | + print "The Gothons of Planet Percal #25 have invaded your ship and destroyed" |
| 30 | + print "your entire crew. You are the last surviving member and your last" |
| 31 | + print "mission is to get the neutron destruct bomb from the Weapons Armory," |
| 32 | + print "put it in the bridge, and blow the ship up after getting into an " |
| 33 | + print "escape pod." |
| 34 | + print "\n" |
| 35 | + print "You're running down the central corridor to the Weapons Armory when" |
| 36 | + print "a Gothon jumps out, red scaly skin, dark grimy teeth, and evil clown costume" |
| 37 | + print "flowing around his hate filled body. He's blocking the door to the" |
| 38 | + print "Armory and about to pull a weapon to blast you." |
| 39 | + |
| 40 | + action = raw_input("> ") |
| 41 | + |
| 42 | + if action == "shoot!": |
| 43 | + print "Quick on the draw you yank out your blaster and fire it at the Gothon." |
| 44 | + print "His clown costume is flowing and moving around his body, which throws" |
| 45 | + print "off your aim. Your laser hits his costume but misses him entirely. This" |
| 46 | + print "completely ruins his brand new costume his mother bought him, which" |
| 47 | + print "makes him fly into an insane rage and blast you repeatedly in the face until" |
| 48 | + print "you are dead. Then he eats you." |
| 49 | + return 'death' |
| 50 | + |
| 51 | + elif action == "dodge!": |
| 52 | + print "Like a world class boxer you dodge, weave, slip and slide right" |
| 53 | + print "as the Gothon's blaster cranks a laser past your head." |
| 54 | + print "In the middie of your artful dodge your foot slips and you" |
| 55 | + print "bang your head on the metal wall and pass out." |
| 56 | + print "You wake up shortly after only to die as the Gothon stomps on" |
| 57 | + print "your head and eats you." |
| 58 | + return 'death' |
| 59 | + |
| 60 | + elif action == "tell a joke": |
| 61 | + print "Lucky for you they made you learn Gothon insults in the academy." |
| 62 | + print "You tell the one Gothon joke you know:" |
| 63 | + print "Lbhe zbgure vf fb sng, jura fur fvgf nebhaq gur ubhfr, fur fvgf nebhaq gur ubhfr." |
| 64 | + print "The Gothon stops, tries not to laugh, then busts out laughing and can't move." |
| 65 | + print "While he's laughing you run up and shoot him square in the head" |
| 66 | + print "putting him down, then jump through the Weapon Armory door." |
| 67 | + return 'laser_weapon_armory' |
| 68 | + |
| 69 | + else: |
| 70 | + print "DOES NOT COMPUTE!" |
| 71 | + return 'central_corridor' |
| 72 | + |
| 73 | + def laser_weapon_armory(self): |
| 74 | + print "You do a dive roll into the Weapon Armory, crouch and scan the room" |
| 75 | + print "for more Gothons that might be hiding. It's dead quiet, too quiet." |
| 76 | + print "You stand up and run to the far side of the room and find the" |
| 77 | + print "neutron bomb in its container. There's a keypad lock on the box" |
| 78 | + print "and you need the code to get the bomb out. If you get the code" |
| 79 | + print "wrong 10 times then the lock closes forever and you can't" |
| 80 | + print "get the bomb. The code is 3 digits." |
| 81 | + code = "%d%d%d" % (randint(1,9), randint(1,9), randint(1,9)) |
| 82 | + guess = raw_input("[keypad]> ") |
| 83 | + guesses = 0 |
| 84 | + |
| 85 | + while guess != code and guesses < 10: |
| 86 | + print "BZZZZEDDD!" |
| 87 | + guesses += 1 |
| 88 | + guess = raw_input("[keypad]> ") |
| 89 | + |
| 90 | + if guess == code: |
| 91 | + print "The container clicks open and the seal breaks, letting gas out." |
| 92 | + print "You grab the neutron bomb and run as fast as you can to the" |
| 93 | + print "bridge where you must place it in the right spot." |
| 94 | + return 'the_bridge' |
| 95 | + else: |
| 96 | + print "The lock buzzes one last time and then you hear a sickening" |
| 97 | + print "melting sound as the mechanism is fused togehter." |
| 98 | + print "You decide to sit there, and finally the Gothons blow up the" |
| 99 | + print "ship from their ship and you die." |
| 100 | + return 'death' |
| 101 | + |
| 102 | + |
| 103 | + def the_bridge(self): |
| 104 | + print "You burst onto the Bridge with the neutron destruct bomb" |
| 105 | + print "under your arm and surprise 5 Gothons who are trying to" |
| 106 | + print "take control of the ship. Each of them has an even uglier" |
| 107 | + print "clown costume than the last. They haven't pulled their" |
| 108 | + print "weapons out yet, as they see the active bomb under your" |
| 109 | + print "arm and don't want to set it off." |
| 110 | + |
| 111 | + action == raw_inut("> ") |
| 112 | + |
| 113 | + if action == "throw the bomb": |
| 114 | + print "In a panic you throw the bomb at the group of Gothons" |
| 115 | + print "and make a leap for the door. Right as you drop it a" |
| 116 | + print "Gothon shoots you right in the back killing you." |
| 117 | + print "As you die you see another Gothon frantically try to disarm" |
| 118 | + print "the bomb. You die knowing they will probably blow up when" |
| 119 | + print "it goes off." |
| 120 | + return 'death' |
| 121 | + |
| 122 | + elif action == "slowly place the bomb": |
| 123 | + print "You point your blaster at the bomb under your arm" |
| 124 | + print "and the Gothons put their hands up and start to sweat." |
| 125 | + print "You inch backward to the door, open it, and then carefully" |
| 126 | + print "place the bomb on the floor, pointing your blaster at it." |
| 127 | + print "You then jump back through the door, punch the close button" |
| 128 | + print "and blast the lock so the Gothons can't get out." |
| 129 | + print "Now that the bomb is placed you run to the escape pod to" |
| 130 | + print "get off this tin can." |
| 131 | + return 'escape_pod' |
| 132 | + else: |
| 133 | + print "DOES NOT COMPUTE!" |
| 134 | + return "the_bridge" |
| 135 | + |
| 136 | + def escape_pod(self): |
| 137 | + print "You rush through the ship desperately trying to make it to" |
| 138 | + print "the escape pod before the whole ship explodes. It seems like" |
| 139 | + print "hardly any Gothons are on the ship, so your run is clear of" |
| 140 | + print "interference. You get to the chamber with the escape pods, and" |
| 141 | + print "now need to pick one to take. Some of them could be damaged" |
| 142 | + print "but you don't have time to look. There's 5 pods, which one" |
| 143 | + print "do you take?" |
| 144 | + |
| 145 | + good_pod = randint(1, 5) |
| 146 | + |
| 147 | + guess = raw_input("[pod #]> ") |
| 148 | + |
| 149 | + if int(guess) != good_pod: |
| 150 | + print "You jump into pod %s and hit the eject button." % guess |
| 151 | + print "The pod escapes out into the void of space, then" |
| 152 | + print "implodes as the hull ruptures, crushing your body" |
| 153 | + print "into jam jelly." |
| 154 | + return 'death' |
| 155 | + else: |
| 156 | + print "You jump into pod %s and hit the eject button." % guess |
| 157 | + print "The pod easily slides out into space heading to" |
| 158 | + print "the planet below. As it flies to the planet, you look" |
| 159 | + print "back and see your ship implode then explode like a" |
| 160 | + print "bright star, taking out the Gothon ship at the same" |
| 161 | + print "time. You won!" |
| 162 | + exit(0) |
| 163 | + |
| 164 | + |
| 165 | +a_game = Game("central_corridor") |
| 166 | +a_game.play() |
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